Snippets O mirth, or I don't have enough for a full blog post...

The intersection of Calle 10 with Av. 15 has always been high traffic, and, apparently the zipper heads in the Cozumel planning department have been dwelling on the issue. First the rocket scientists attempted to correct this issue by placing the largest stop sign I've seen in my life on 10th. Apparently, this sun-eclipsing sized sign didn't work, since a few days later they sent a road crew in, who worked diligently for about 3 days installing large, scrape the belly-offa-your-car speedbumps (topes) on 15th, effectively creating a 4 way stop.

Three days later the topes were completely removed and the holes patched. Island legend has it that the topes were supposed to be installed on 10, and no one was there to supervise. They did leave the signs announcing the topes, though. sigh.

The new neighbors, with the strip mine in their backyard, spent the first night in their new home. This morning, while the Fab-man was walking the dogs, he noticed the back seat all messed up on their rental VW Bug. Someone has stolen their car battery. Welcome to our neighborhood, we're really glad you're here! sigh.

It's rained for 3 or 4 straight days now, and directly in front of our house the street is blocked by a puddle of green stinky water, that, if expereince proves correct, will soon start breeding frogs. These frogs, asside from being large and disgusting party all night en masse and can literally keep us awake with the noise. sigh.

I think the weather has sucked out my motivation. sigh.

In which some home projects are clearly not DIY

We finally met the new neighbors, who bought the house to the north of us. After the Fab man made the initial contact, I went over to check out the house, and convince them that horns were, in fact, not growing out of my head, contrary to popular belief.


I was really curious to see this house since the prior owners were, well....a little unusual. We're on the tour, looking out at the backyard, and I said, "oh, is that an outdoor kitchen, what a great idea!" Turns out it's a bathroom for the swimming pool.


Let me tell you about the "swimming pool." The two children of the previous owners, ages 12 and 16, got the idea into their head that they really wanted a pool, so they decided to dig their own pool. Now, anyone who lives here knows that Cozumel is a limestone island, with about 2 feet of rocky, poor quality top soil. In fact, people I know who actually have completed (keyword) swimming pools have to hire people with pneumatic drills to bust up the rock to actually get more than ankle-deep.

So these whacky kids get this idea into their head, the parents indulge them, and where is their next stop? Our house. Yes, here. Why? Because they want to borrow our pick and shovel. Seriously, they were invested enough to attempt to dig their own pool, but didn't want to spring for the tools??

This went on for a least a week. Boy would arrive in the morning, borrow our tools, and attempt to dig to China, only to return our shovel at the end of the work day. Frankly, I was beyond amused. As the healthy-sized pool progressed, the inevitable happened, they hit rock, we didn't own a pneumatic drill they could borrow, and the project was abandoned.

Fast forward to the present day with the new owners. I'm looking out their backyard and it either looks like it's been strip-mined or been used for some sort of mass burial, unmarked grave, kinda deal.

So I'm explaining to the new neighbors, that, in fact, our pick and shovel are responsible for the destruction of their backyard, and they're looking at me in open-mouthed disbelief. See, they're new to the island, and have not yet learned the system of dispended-disbelief that we long-timers exist in, and, to be honest, they probably heard about the horns that grow out of my head already.

I'm going to be on TV - meh

This is from my recent Cozumel 4 You newsletter:



Cozumel 4 You is going multi-media! Starting on Thursday June 25, Cozumel 4 You, hosted by Laura Wilkinson, will present a weekly, hour long, magazine style show, along with Canal 5! We’ve been collecting your comments and suggestions off of the chatboard and your emails, so we’ve got some great ideas! Canal 5 can be found on Channel 25 for those of you with Cable Mas, here on the island, and we’ll have a video link, on the chatboard for those of you who don’t have access.



Before you start patting me on the back (which is very nice, btw, keep it up!) and bask in my glory, keep in mind that I'm really, really freaked out about the whole thing.



First of all, I hate having my picture taken. Totally 100% loathing, white hot intensity of a thousand suns. Allow me to illustrate:




This is a photo of myself and two other (normal) women. See how they're relaxed and smiling in an attractive fashion? They're pleased to have their photo taken (maybe posted on my blog here, not so much, but..)

Look at me. My shoulders are hiked up to my ears, I'm slouched over, creating a tent'like effect from the dress (I'm not THAT fat) and then there's the totally awkward, "I have to go to the bathroom" kinda stance thing going on.

I know you're thinking, "wow, what an unfortuate photo of my dear friend Laura." However, let me assure you. This is one of the better ones.



Friends and family have hundreds of photos of me with the same hiked shoulders and uncomfortable smile, throughout the years. I remember one particularily bad school photo (4 grade maybe) in which I am rocking the same pained expression in a Winne the Poo dress. That photo actually made relatives laugh out loud.


Photo Phobia runs in my family. My cousin is one of my dearest friends in the world. My husband used to wonder why I have not a single photo of her in the house, until she came to visit. Fab-man just doesn't get photo phobia and just started snapping away, my shoulders went up, and Cousin took on her "thousand yard stare" look. Seriously, she could intimidate the bartender in a biker bar with her photo-face, and that's if you're brave enough to take the photo!


Another reason why I'm freaked out about being on TV is my potty mouth. Those of you who know me, and continue to speak to me, know that I drop the F-bomb as an adjective. I enjoy expanding my vocabulary with words like "f*ck-tard" and things like "put your big girl panties on and get over it," drop out of my mouth with alarming frequency.


They originally wanted to do the show LIVE, however, I think I've convinced them otherwise. In short, to sum it all up, this is going to be a whole lot of 'company-behavior" mixed with a never ending photo.


In all seriousness, it's a super opportunity. Cozumel never has had a televised news in english program, and I'm super flattered to be in on the first one. What an asset to the community.

I'm really looking forward to it, since that which does not kill me makes me stronger. I've been watching Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray, to study their facial expressions and postures, and I'm working on my company behavior. This weekend I plan on spending alot of time around children.

Cozumel Surf

I've just started working on a webpage for my friend, Nacho, called cozumel surfing. Nacho, who is probably the most universally known and liked guy on the island has been surfing for years, and now wants to start teaching it.

He's really good with kids, and he just looks like a surfer. I don't have the page done yet (since I'm blogging...) but I wanted to post some of these for you. Here's Nacho, doing his surf god imitation. Kids stop him in the street all the time and call him Capt. Jack Sparrow.

And here he is showing off.

Here's the Fab Man getting his surf on! (Note the Guido arms!)

Lastly, I'm calling this one, Nacho and his surf bunnies. That's Malin from Sweden (right) and Katie (left), who owns http://www.blubambumx.com/ the new salon in town.

A photo says 1,000 palabras....

I'm fully convinced we've hit the dog days of summer, even though it's only June, and August is traditionally the hottest month. It's been super hot and humid, but no rain. I thought I'd do a photo essay of some of the recent events here.

First of all, look who's back. It's the Snoopymobile. For those of you who don't already know, this is the Fab-man's very cool island style car. Like a phoenix, Snoopymobile has been rebuilt from the ground up, yet again. It's a 1972 VW Thing (here in Mexico, it's called a Safari) This time it's been reincarnated white, since someone else on the island, also has a red Thing. It's been 11 months in the rebuilding, and the final details, like the brakes, should be done by the end of this week!! Hopefully in time for happy hour !

(it's at http://www.lacocay.com/ this week, fyi, 6- 9pm)

We also got the large screen on our sliding glass door repaired. Our "cat" (who is convinced he's the third dog) took it upon himself to create his own cat door, basically by head-butting the screen until the corner ripped. We knew it was time to get it fixed when a three-year old child could also walk through. We had the screen team in, and showed them what the cat had done, and showed them the damage, explaining that we wanted a cat door in the left corner. We were thrilled when they returned at the end of the day, with this elaborate set-up featuring a clear plastic cat door, until we installed it and realized that the cat door is now on the right corner, so unless the door is fully open, it's useless.

Lastly, I've been spending tons of time watering the garden. This jasmine bush, about a year ago, was the pride of my garden, and made the entire downstairs smell fantastic with constant flowers (Fabs actually once accused me of using an overpowering air freshener, when, in fact, it was the bush). That was before the ants, the white fly and the fungus arrived. My friend Rosalie hacked jasmine down to mere stalks back in April, in a last ditch effort to save the poor thing. Jasmine finally put out shoots and green leaves, which is apparently very appealing if you are a giant red ant. I watched helplessly one night as these horrible insects carried off entire leaves. The next morning, we painted the base of the plant white with chalk, like they do with all the palm trees downtown. It apparently works since the remaining 2/3 of the plant has yet to be carried off. Sometimes you just have to be happy for the little things, no?