Thursday, 23 July 2009

What is it with me and birds??

Seriously, is this the Chinese year of the bird? Am I working out some bad karma from a past lifetime? Is Alfred Hitchcock attempting to communicate with me from the grave?

First there was the drive-by vulture wrestling of last month, where me and the minion of death collided on a bicycle (well, I was on the bicycle, the vulture was flying obviously..).

This traumatic event has become such instant Cozumel legends that Rodrigo Rodriquez, who does the Living Legends on the Cozumel 4 You webletter wrote a poem about it!! (no, I didn’t publish it, it’s embarrassing!)

The other day, I was at Blu Bambu getting my haircolor totally changed (bye bye blondie!) and I’m standing over by the window, and I look up and screamed like a 12 year old girl. Literally about 2 feet away from me, and at eye level was this enormous albino peacock.

“oh, peacock, pretty..” you think. Not so. This was the nasty version of peacock. First of all it was hyperventilating (I didn’t even know that birds DO that) and it’s creepy forked beak-colored tongue was hanging out, and it was pecking at the window, like it wanted to come in and peck out my eye.

Katie (witness) who was with me tentatively tapped the window in a gentle attempt to encourage this freak of nature to perhaps pant elsewhere. No such luck, what the gentle tapping did, in fact do, was convince the disgusting thing to turn around.

Now, you’ve seen how distorted people’s faces are when they squish them into a pane of glass and make funny faces, right? Well, let’s just say that Katie and I got a birds-eye view of everything you ever wanted to know about peacock hiney. The worst part about it, because of the damn tail, the bird kinda got stuck, and the twist/mooning took place in slow motion.

“Eeewwww,” Katie actually said out loud. Unbelievably enough she actually had her camera with her and managed to snap a photo! The photo became incredibly important since as soon as the monstrosity tottered off I called the Fab husband, and told him the whole story, and he did not believe me.

It seems that there are some people out there who think that I have a tendency to exaggerate in order to make a story better, and the Fabster thought it was perhaps a large chicken or maybe a dove. And to all you naysayers out there, you know what I say? POPPYCOCK!


Kelley said...

Birds creep me out big time! And if I had a run in with a vulture, I would be under voluntary psychiatric care. Geez, I can't even think about that anymore! So why do we have a pet parakeet,again?

SkylersDad said...

Albino Peacock?!? Wow, I never knew there was such a creature.

Kori said...

Poppycock? Oh, my, wiping tears of laughter from THAT last line.

Hockey Girl said...

What is it with you and birds? Crazy shit. Where is the new pic of the new hairdo? Post that bad boy up hot stuff!

cozzie laura said...

The really weird part of the story is katie's salon is literally in the town square. it doesn't get more urban than this, what was this freak of nature doing there?

HG, I took a bunch of photos tonight, with TV makeup and my hair all done up, I'll be posting them soon!

Kori, the jokes that we haven't said, are just way way more funny than the ones that I actually used, and not as G-rated, no?

Sklyer's Dad, peacocks are my evil clowns!!

Kelly, I won't be visiting you and your evil bird anytime soon, since I can only imagine what the thing would do to me!!

Anonymous said...


It would seem that the bird flipped you off.


Lisa..... said...

Isn't that a female? She just wanted to get her hair did.

Sarah said...

Awww, poor birdie. She was hot.

Ms. Moon said...

Darling- The peacock obviously wanted to also be changed from a blond to a brunette when she saw your trasnformation. You should have let the poor girl in.

Hockey Girl said...

Time to update!