Thursday, 2 July 2009

Stuff I don't wanna do..

I spend entirely way too much time doing stuff I don't wanna do. I like to kid myself that since I live here, on an island, hang out at the beach, have fun, irresponsible friends, that makes me hip, and cool, but the facts are, I still spend way too much time doing stuff I don't wanna do...

This week life got in the way of my life, meaning that I had to do alot of the stupid grown-up stuff, that made me feel irresponsible, selfish, dumb, and re-think the whole Peter Pan state in which I seem to dwell.

Sunday the Fab man went fishing, and came back with 3 tunas, my absolute favorite. When he arrived home, I immediately headed out for a torrential downpour. The Fabster, who is a reasonable adult, warned me about flooded streets, while I nodded vacantly and relentlessly carried on with my selfish mission. Did I mention that I had to walk my narcissistic self to Rita's house? to call for a ride? while clutching a sodden tube of wasabi?

That stupid little jaunt into arrested adolescence cost us $150 USD since apparently I didn’t get the amphibian option when I purchased the Mimi-mobile. Long suffering husband, again, just gazed at me plaintively as he shelled out the cash.

The washing machine, after years of mistreatment and faithful service on it’s part, also chose Monday to crap out. Trying to get someone to repair something here, is about as easy as milking a cat. It might be possible, however at the end of the day, the repair guy is pissed off, since the Fabster has gone to his shop 90 bazillion times and bothered him, the husband and I have already had a tiff about the associated frustration, and at the end of the day, we’re still drowning in dirty clothes. Today I’m calling a new guy, so the entire cycle can begin anew.

I’ve also got a new cleaning lady starting today. This, is, actually harder than dating, and I didn’t enjoy that and wasn’t very good at it either. I got the new maid from the Jehovah Witness Maid pimp, who’s the connection here on the island to good, reliable help. The Maid pimp is a necessary evil, since it’s really hard to find someone who won’t drink out your liquor cabinet, rob you blind, hit you up for a loan, or bring friends and family members for a visit while cleaning your house. Go ahead, laugh, I’m not exaggerating, I’ve had all of these things happen to me. I’ve also been forced to purchase Tupperware, Amway, and Avon. I’ve discovered broken keepsakes stuffed in sock drawers, mummified lizards under the sofa that the cat brought in, and even found a bottle of salad dressing mixed into the products in our bathroom.

The husband has been shockingly responsible. I have not. I’ve flown off the handle, yelled, screamed and made bad decisions, almost on an hourly basis. I really truly hate it, when he comes off as the mature, responsible one. Then, to make matters even worse, he indulgently pats me on the head, and claims he understands all the stress that that I’m under. Again, somewhere I don’t wanna bee, shew-vllle.


Ms. Moon said...

Our problems are so different and yet, the same at heart. My husband seems to have to take care of all the "adult" issues. Thank goodness for him! Yes, yes, yes!
And you are lucky with your Fab Man.

cozzie laura said...

and he's going to hold my hand before my TV show tonight.....

Anonymous said...

Hi, from Mr. Moon. Mary and I are looking foward to our trip to Coz. I love to fish and the Tuna sounds like a great catch. I have only fished for Bonefish down there. I want to talk about more about fishing this time of the year in Coz. Later, Glen
PS Look foward to meeting both of you.

cozzie laura said...

hands down, best charter operation here, Albatros Charters, 888 333 4643. Talk to Rita, she's the fish chick. We should go fishing while you're here! I'll bring the $150 USD tube of wasabi!!

Hockey Girl said...

Love your blog...I am so glad you left a comment or I wouldnt have wondered over here. I will be catching up on your life today. Thanks girl.

Anonymous said...

I've seen you when you're bitchy
No doubt about it!!
Fabian is a SAINT!!


Dear old Dad

Gwen said...

Jehovah's Witness maid pimp...that is hilarious. I can see how getting a JW to clean your house would be ideal. That fear of God thing is a powerful force for them!

I found your blog because, well, you found my blog :) It's always great to add a well-written, interesting blog to my reader!